lecture 3 * DPP *

if you want a sociaty to be peacefull you need peace in family

violence towards children was something normal

children were seen more as objects than individuals

as an economic unit

romantic and inimacy → children born into this unit are born into intimicy

parent's relationship

childen are sensitive to the quality of the interaction of the adults around them

distress in children produced by disingaged or withdrawn parents from each other

what is going on : good , bad , neutral

if bad : why is there conflict , have I hone something wrong ?

good acces to primal apraisl = secure attachement

you can show what you feel , can communicate effectivly

results in children feeling like it is their faul

if the conflit is terminated by the child's behaviour this will act as an reinfricement

conflict will shape models about attachemt and intimicy

adult conflict is a developmental issue

high satisfaction between intimate partenes is related to secure parent child relationship and positive interaction in families → almost no unresolved stress

secure relationhip with mother + many conflicts between parents = emotional insecurity and stress fro child within tha family

resolved succesfully → conflicts take place in each family , they are instructive

without a resolution : potential reactions of the children

guilt

fear

pulling back

ager

desire to distract and mediate

physiologcal responses ) heart rate , blood flow, skin reactions)

becoming accusstomed to conflicts / arguments

becoming increasingly reactive to exposure

childen win constant conflict become senzitied even if it seem like they are "used to it "

NO

negativity between parents remains a stress factor

for the outside world, a child can show indifference

a hystory of conflict reduced the treshold for the children to react negativly and increases reactivity to conflict

*neuroendocrine system becomes incringly vulerable to stress

*fight or flight response is activated quickly

negotiation or compatition

play together

sharing attention form parents

1. children with siblings have more sensitivity to differential treatment
2. develop theory of mind at earlier age
3. development of social competence trough expiriences of conflict
4. support to prepare fot the complexities of an intimate relationship

peers are voluntary , recipocity and have equal status

*strong bond with a frinad can make up for a weak sibling relationship (NOT the other way around !)

1. motivation for emapthy
2. share imaginative play
3. broader social network
4. expectations about socical status : acceptance or rejection ( sociaiopeting testing )

four categpries of social standing based om the question name who they like and dislike within the group

infant → Trust vs Mistrust

pre schooler → Initiative vs Guilt

teenager → Identity vs Role confusion

toddler → Autonomy vs Shame and Doubt

grade schooler → Industry vs Inferiority

**young adult → Intimicy vs Isolation**

**middle age adult → Generativity vs Stagnation**

adutlthood → Integrity vs Stagnation

feel at ease and give to others 9 knowledge , emotional intelignece )

often patterns repeat with siblings and friends : *if you feel neglected by frinds it will continue to be the same with a partener

early adolescence : lear distinction between intimate relationships and frindships

understanding intimicy becomes more sophisticated

specific expirinces such as abuse

sceure attachement is the outcome of successful containment

insecure attachement is a defensive compramise in order to retaining physical proximity to the caregiver incapable of containing the infant's affect

intimicy or autonomy

autonomy self esteem , respect for self

intimicy i dare to relate to you

criticism

contempt

defensivness

stonewalling

how can I make myself useful ?

where am I needed ?

What do I like ?

if self esteem goes up stess goes down good for imunity system

more older men remarry , women are 3xmore likey to be living as a widow

the more disruptions the less fiancial security and more risk of heart diesease ( women )

retiermnt

widowhood

loss of health , social relationships, social roles

relational problems, conficts

increased awareness of death

early onset and late onset

arise earlier in life

arise in late adulthood

1. having a say in matters and being able to keep this up
2. active participation and contribution
3. freedom of choice and posibility to shape own individuality
4. more than autonomous, independent or in control

ofteb first physical symptoms , vague complaints

subjective memory complaints

masked by 'smiles'