lecture 9 * social psychology *

1. psychologically
2. physiologically
3. social

genral satisfaction , school succes , psychiatric disorders

immune system, diesease , life expectancy

social support , instrumental , informational , emotional

man

non married women have 50% increase in mortality rate

non married men have 250% increase in mortality rate

however the death of the spouse give more chances of depression , illness and death (particularly man )

falling in love

intimacy

1. waist to hip ration
2. symmetry of the face
3. prototypicality of the face
4. baby face bias
5. dominant bias

stronger influnce of attraction than breasts

indicator of fertility

*women : 0.67 to 0.80

*men : 0.80 to 0.95

we like faces in the mirror more then in real life

mirror makes it more symmetrical like it more on ourselves and others

people like a prototypical face more than actual real one

due to uneven features and divergence of average → signals less health and fertility

mere exposure : safest option and we are used to it most

big head

big eyes , round

small sjort nose

round cheeks

small chin

big jaw

clear visible eyebrows

proeminent cheekbones

makes a men more credible

men especially

1. similarity
2. mere exposure and proximity
3. available options
4. secret relationships

most noticable

different cultures , different definition of beauty

indicator of fertility and health

matching in demographics, attitudes, interest ,values and preferences

little proof but we can show that complementary works together

giving/taking dominat/submissive

people make frinds with the people that are closer to them

at a party you would stay closer to the kitchen because there is where the drinks are → easier to make friends

people make frind at college with the people that live next to their dorms

participants saw themselves in a mirror picture , participants liked mirrored pictures better / frinds like real pictrue better

later → more attractive

more attracted to secret relationships ( conversation in 2 better than in 3 )

1. intense longign for the other
2. physical arousal → excitation arousal

physical arousal is neccery to fall in love

bridge experiment

men on the bridge

female confederate would ask questions while on the bridge

female left her phone number

he nr of men calling women were much higher when they were on the bridge vs wehn they were on steady ground : arousal made them feel like they have a crush on the woman

> scary movies (Dutton and Aaron )
> roller coasters (Meston and Frohlich )
> physical exercise (White and Kight )

transfers gradually into companionate love

the feeling of deep connction with eachother → intimicy

1. self diclosure
2. commitment
3. including others in self
4. individual diferences

because intimicy is highy related with the levels of self disclosure

initially "self diclosure reciprocity " , gradually disclose more and more

at a certain level : less reciprocity

culture ( individualistic vs collectivistic cultures )

gender ( women vs men )

the extet to whic one is commited to the other is an excellent predictor of relationship stability

the investment model

1. satisfaction
2. quality of alternatives
3. investment size

justice (cost / benefit ) : distribution of chores , money

absolute level of reward : do i get what I want form theis relationship(affection sex validation )

would I be better or worst with someone else ?

would I be better by myself ?

availability of an attractive alternative

what " investments" do we have together ?

time , house, children etc

+satisfaction

_quality of alternatives → commitment → stay or break up ?

+investment size

commitment makes people more ceilling to put effort into a relationship

commitment crates stability

commitment makes one get " trapped" in unhappy relationship

highly committed partners → higher levels of domestic violence

highly committed women are morel likely to return to their husband

1. responding constructively to problems
2. positive illusions

the extent to which a partener is comitted and other factors lead to the individual haviong one of the 4 possible behaviours

1. destructive
2. constructive
3. active
4. passive

the illusion that your relationship is better than averege

in high commitment relationships , the partenrs think that their relationships are better than other relationships

they can genrate negative things about other relationships

strong commitment implies that the other becomes part of the self

overlap between self and he other can show perceived closeness

1. prediction of relationship satisfaction
2. relationship active ( arte they still together in 3 months )
3. cognitive interdependence : relationship in terms of " we" and "us" instead of " me and " him "

attachement : attachemnt styles determine how they deal with intimacy

1. Secure attachemnt
2. Insecure attachement

high self esteem , high trust in others , confortable with intimacy , adress problems in constructive manner

relatively more problems with intimicy

1. peroccupied
2. dismissing and avoidant
3. fearfuk avoidant

high trust in others but low self esteem

obssesive , easliy jelous , empotionally damaging , feelings of not being worthy

low trust in others but high self esteem

afraid of commitment , little confidence that love will persist

low trust in others and low self esteem

expect rejetion , avoid intimacy

baby and caregiver

attachement style as baby

in "weird" situations

experiment were mom leaves and we observe the behaviour

child continues to play

hard to confort wehn return ,extremly stressed when leaves

play , stressed when mother leaves but avoidant when she returns

caregiver is he fist intimate reationship

self fullfiling prophecy

genes

creates relationship prototype

achor of expectations

process through which an originally false expectation leads to its own confirmation + snowball effect ( this idea becomes larger and larger )

people differ in their natural tendency to attach securly/insecurly to others